


Home

by Fayolah



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angels, Anger, Angst, Assumed Relationship, Canon Era, Commander Eyebrows, Death, Depression, Drabble, Erwin is dead, How Do I Tag, I Can't Believe I Wrote This, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I'm Bad At Tagging, Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin) Has Feelings, Levi Is In Denial, Light Angst, M/M, Mild Blood, Oops, Past Levi/Erwin Smith, Read by the Author, Suicide Attempt, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, Titans, eruri - Freeform, sort of suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-13
Updated: 2016-12-13
Packaged: 2018-09-08 08:50:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,158
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8838202
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fayolah/pseuds/Fayolah
Summary: His hands were growing cold.He only knew because he constantly begged for the warmth of them in private. Interlocking a pair of longer, almost more nimble fingers with his own."I love you." The blonde had gone on. He was steadily growing breathless. If it was any other situation, you'd think he was whispering a secret.----- Despite Levi's insistance to remain at the Scout's Base where it was safe, Erwin placed himself into a deadly mission that he organized.





	

**Author's Note:**

> i literally wrote this yesterday and ripped it from my wattpad, i hope it's okay!! leave kudos and maybe comments if you liked it and giVE CONSTRUCTIVe criticsm if you want ;A;
> 
> enjoy!! its.. my first writing piece, i hope it's okay aaa

Erwin.

Erwin.

Erwin.

_Erwin. Erwin._

_Erwin. Erwin. **Erwin.**_

The man who's name was constantly repeated in the mind of a small raven-haired brute lay still atop a roof. Why had he thrown himself into battle this time? Why hadn't he remained in the safety of his office, waiting for a report?

_Why?_

Now Erwin lay limply on red shingles, a light peaceful smile on his face. His brows were contorted in such a way that only gave way to silent, everlasting apology.

"I'm sorry." He had breathed softly when his captain approached approached him, reaching up with the arm he'd had left. Levi knew his fingers were growing cold.

His hands were growing cold.

He only knew because he constantly begged for the warmth of them in private. Interlocking a pair of longer, almost more nimble fingers with his own.

"I love you." The blonde had gone on. He was steadily growing breathless. If it was any other situation, you'd think he was whispering a secret.

Levi hadn't said anything back. Simply caught the hand that reached out so desperately for him in his own. Stone grey eyes gave way to almost every inch of emotion he was feeling.

Regret. For growing close.

Fondness, despite his previous mission. Because this was his best friend. His lover. All he wanted to care to know in the Scouting Legion.

Pain. This was the man he'd let into his heart. The man he'd allowed to coddle him during his own suffering.

Grief. So much of it.

So much of it that the raven's eyes were glossing over as his shaky breaths continued, hunching over his companion. "Erwin."

Was all he managed to breath out.

Blue eyes interlocked with stone grey, apologetic. Loving. "I'm sorry." The blonde repeated.

Erwin was never one for apologies.  
He had never apologized.  
Even if he fucked up.

And he fucked up now.

"Erwin." Levi repeated again as his commander closed his eyes. Desperately he reached out with his free hand, dragging it along the bloodied cheek.

Erwin.

Erwin. Erwin.  
It wasn't something he could say anymore.

Not a name he could allow past his lips anymore. Not without pain striking his heart. Not without tears pricking his eyes.

Through all the death the raven had endured, had been through, this was the worst.  
This was the one he'd broken at. He'd given in at.

He had bothered to cry over.

He couldn't even say some sort of uplifting shit to him. Couldn't even say 'I love you' to him, despite the slowly leaving warmth.

Despite the small, crimson puddle they'd settled in. That could only be deemed Erwin's blood.

How could Erwin have been so clumsy? So stupid? 

_So careless?_

\- - - - - - - - -

It was as though Farlan and Isabelle had passed again. It was the same amount of grief. Same amount of pain.

Same amount of anger.

He was out for blood now. Out for revenge. Blood he had gained, that was plastered along his face and clothing. Blood that was warm and sticky. Blood that was being cleared from his face from an endless amount of tears. Blood that burned, because it was Titan blood.

The blood of those creatures. Those wretched creatures that kept them hiding behind walls like mice. Those wretched creatures that had killed what was his.

That had taken what little he had left.

That had torn his sanity from him.

That had him on his knees, leaning back to look into the sky with such an expression that would have been deemed as insane. His pupils were so constricted, his eyes wide as he stared into the sky. It was so bright, so welcoming. Erwin was probably so happy up there, likely fluttering about on his wings that now pried him away from the cruel clutches of this world. Wings that led him to freedom.

_Erwin._

But he'd left Levi down here. So cold, and alone, unable to cope. He had broken away from the mission after placing Erwin's body on top of the wall. No one could reach that right now. Only the colossal titan, but what would it want with Erwin? Nothing. He was Levi's and only Levi's. Was. Now he belonged to the skies.

And so did Levi, or so he felt. But even with his feelings that weighed him down physically and mentally, he was still weakly dodging the grasps of the Titans. Helplessly, slowly growing unable to move.

He was tired. He had killed so many.  
He had slaughtered so many.  
He had sought revenge on so many.

But it wasn't enough.  
These Titans did not know love. They did not know pain. They did not know regret, they did not know grief, they did not know anything.

They did not know the pain Levi felt when he was dangled upside down by one that vaguely reminded him of Erwin. But at this point, everything did.

Erwin.  
_Erwin._  
_Erwin. Erwin._

He was coming home, now. Shortly after his commander's death. Hours. Hours upon hours of fighting Titans when the blonde had died. Hours and hours of feeling like he would burst, collapse. Ultimately die of sadness. Of grief. 

But it was instead, hours upon hours of fighting Titans for revenge that would never be greeted. Hours wasted. Hours that had left him tired and limp.

And now dangling, staring into the eyes of that Titan that still vaguely looked like Erwin. He didn't have the strength anymore.

_I'm coming. I'm coming._

Not even when he heard the distant shouts of the scouts. They'd been looking for him.

"Corporal Levi! Move!" Levi heard them shout. It was Eren.

But they found him too late. _I'm sorry._ He didn't cry out when he was bitten into. When he felt the pressure of unbelievably large teeth break through his skin. When excruciating pain flooded through him. He didn't struggle. He couldn't. He'd screamed and cried so much before over his loss, that even if he wanted to, his voice was gone. It would hurt if he did, and nothing would've come out. His body was tired. He was tired. And no longer had any will to summon strength.

His unavoidable death had almost felt pleasurable despite the overwhelming pain that burdened him.

Levi couldn't help but welcome it. He wasn't strong anymore. He didn't have Erwin anymore. He didn't know love anymore. He didn't know anything anymore.

But soon he would.

Because he was coming home to his commander, that had always welcomed him with gentle loving arms. Blue eyes that were only for him, filled with such a profound amount of love.

Without Erwin, this place was not home. This cruel world that he was forced into was not home. This cruel, beautiful world was no longer beautiful, not without Erwin.

But soon somewhere would be.

He would soon be home.

Because after that brief moment of pain and the sudden darkness...

That's what he was greeted with.

_Home._

**Author's Note:**

> i hope you liked it! i tried really hard to make it sad and angsty >:3


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